There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
