Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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