You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
