: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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