1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
