saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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