ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
