So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
40s are totally the cure
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
