you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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