ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
