Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
