North Korea, Best Korea!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
