I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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