How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
