Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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