do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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