i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
