oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize