OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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