the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
