dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
