He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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