id be glad to
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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