is your mom at the bar?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
