super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
