So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The beer is more important than you right now.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
