he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
