just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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