Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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