Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
