your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
