I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
