No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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