How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize