Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
