He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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