My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
