Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
