Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Boobs speak an international language.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
