Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
