Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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