Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
