Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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