is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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