your parents love me but you hate me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
