I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
