I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
