Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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