:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
