She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
