My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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