So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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