If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
