Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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